This kind of mentality won’t help you get the job you want
Recently, I was trying to help a friend figure out his career path. After spending his twenties and thirties drifting from place to place as a welder, on oil rigs, and fixing up race cars in his spare time, he is now well into middle age. He had no family of his own, no kids, and after completing a Master’s degree in a field he would struggle to get a job in, he was living with his elderly parents and helping them around the house.
After almost a year of applying for jobs here and there, he still didn’t know what he was looking for. He wouldn’t dare let himself follow his passion for cars — it was impractical. He also wasn’t sure if he should pursue a career in college student support — something that excited him — because it didn’t pay well.
Reflection Questions
I sent my friend these questions (I can no longer find the original source) to help him reflect on his purpose and path. I was dismayed by what he sent back.
- What do you feel passionate about?
Financial stability.
- What does your dream life look like?
Doesn’t exist.
- Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years?
Living on acreage with a solid home, family safely in place and taken care of medically/mentally.
- What do you hope to accomplish before you retire?
Ability to support family financially.
- What do you need from a career to help you reach your goals?
A fair retirement, investment opportunities, salaried income, possible growth within the company.
- How much money do you need to make to live comfortably?
Not much for me alone, but additional to help family members live comfortably.
- What makes you happy at work? (e.g., helping people, solving problems, coming up with creative ideas)
Helping people, helping animals, honest teamwork.
The Problem with Being Too Practical
The problem with these answers is they tell me nothing about who this person is and what he wants. Everyone wants financial stability, but that doesn’t preclude imagining a dream job or dream life.
My friend could not answer the question about his dream life but he clearly wants to buy some land in the country within 10 years. How are those two questions different? On the surface, one is fanciful while the other aims to be realistic. On the other hand, one is hopeful, while the other doesn’t dare to hope.
This friend helped me see that there is a limit to being practical. You have to dream big, or you’ll never get what you want.
It’s easy to come up with good reasons not to think big. My friend’s excuse was his elderly parents. For some reason, he had decided that he would be the one to take care of mom and dad. Dad was a veteran and on an oxygen tank, but he also had military retirement money coming in every month. So how much did my friend need to support mom and dad?
By being so realistic and focusing on his present circumstances, he couldn’t possibly create a picture of what he wanted in the future. Without a vision, how can you get what you want?
Fuel for the Job Search
Getting a job is hard work and finding the motivation to network, to apply to jobs every day, and to persevere after many rejections must be fueled by something. Typically, that is either boredom, desperation, or, ideally, excitement. Excitement starts with aligning your goals to your interests and beliefs and envisioning what you want. This kind of mentality will help you get the job you want.
